tenth of forever

i have a clothesline strung up between the posts on my porch, and there's a sheet hung out, going crazy in the wind. baby girl is outside running under it when it blows up in the air, laughing like a maniac. it's the most awesome thing i've ever seen.

tired and happy... stayed up till the wee, wee hours of morning reminiscing with beau about the beginning of us. there's nothing better then lying in the dark, nothing but skin between us, remembering how we started and realizing that things are as amazing now as they were then.

i love my little family. i think i say that a lot. i mean it a lot.

collection of.

my babies will all be home tomorrow.

we're going to make a fire pit in the back yard soon.

i think i'll be able to come out a little ahead on bills next month.

beau's friend just moved to town, and he's great. i've had fun hanging out with the two of them. i'm glad he's here.

tomorrow night, cooking out with the babes.

this weekend, i get to see one of my favorite bands, then spend some time with my good friends jim and garret, then my sister and mom are coming into town and mom will finally get to meet beau. then thing 2 gets to go back with my sister and spend a few days with his cousins.

AND today is my awesome friend michelle's birthday... i am so incredibly lucky to have her in my life. AND it's beau's cousin tiffany's birthday too, she's the big 20! so glad i got to know her and i get to call her family. she's such a neat person.

and scooby is tripping out all over the house.

oh, and i'm very grateful that i have such an amazing man to share my life with. he makes it better every day and i probably don't tell him enough. he and my kids bring me so many smiles... i love my little family, so very much.

every night should sound like this.

shine.

woke up this morning to the sun on my face and the wind blowing through the window.

opened my ears and heard my little guy's voice in the living room.

opened my eyes and saw beau stretched out next to me, smiling in his sleep.

now: meat puppets and waiting on friends to arrive, slow words fighting to be said when all i really want to do is play, but i'll get it done.

the house smells like summer and clean clothes and pine-sol.

i love my life.

tuesday happy.

the sun is shining.

there's a sweet breeze blowing through the house and pink floyd are singing me to the dark side of the moon.

money's rolling easy in; i should have listened to mudhoney when they told me that it would.

little people are tripping through the house on their way to bicycles and pool cues and roaming black puppy dogs they try in vain to call onto the porch.

i tried to think of ways things could be better. i can't come up with anything at all.

nerd love is awesome.

did you know that the first interracial kiss on television took place on star trek?

cool... did you know that elvis costello's real name is declan macmanus?

i did not.

i love sharing nerdiness with you.

just because i can.

one day, i'm going to count how many times i say "i love you" from the time i wake up until i fall asleep. i bet it's a lot.

and yet, millions of adults don't understand.

"you don't be friends with people because of what color they are, you be friends with them because of who they are. but it's best to be friends with people who are nice, not mean."

-my niece, stella, age five.

justin beiber and sparkly flowers

today we celebrated baby girl's birthday.

she's almost ten.

before she was born, the doctors said she was dead.

today, she ran around squealing with her friends, eating cupcakes baked in ice cream cones and topped with glitter icing flowers. she shot a couple games of pool, fluttered her lashes over her justin beiber poster, held hands with a friend on each side of her and skipped up the front steps in cutoff shorts and tall brown boots. later she headed out for a sleepover with her best friend, and i was just a quick hug and a "bye, love you" tossed over her shoulder as she got in the car.

my baby has been here almost ten years, and she's perfect. there is no bigger bliss trip than that.

how could i forget?

i'd been kicking myself over accidentally giving away my tales of ordinary madness. i thought it had gone into a freecycle bag by mistake. then last night i was talking to a friend i haven't seen in years, and he mentioned that he still had my bukowski. this thing has apparently traveled the country, i'd forgotten he even had the book, and now i'm getting it back-sometime. hopefully soon. YAY.

get clean.

i've lived in my new house over a month without a washer. doing laundry in the kitchen sink sucked. lugging the stuff over to my old house and doing it there also sucked. somehow we never got around to going to the laundromat. this morning, a friend tipped beau off about some washer/dryer combos at the habitat store. $50. *sweet*! o, the joy of being able to do laundry in my own home without feeling like it's only halfway clean... i'm happy. (thank you, beau. xoxo)

so tonight is one of those nights when i'm just content. i'm settling into this place i stumbled across and realizing that it really is home. not just the house, but all of it-the circumstances. you know what i mean. earlier this evening, i could hear my little girl outside with her friend, a couple of my boys were outside with their buddy making the typical noisy boy noises, my little guy was parked on the couch discussing video games with beau, and i was listening to my older baby girl fill me in on the soap opera that is the life of a teenage girl. and i realized then-again, because i don't tend to forget it for long-that my life is just about perfect.

now, the babies are all asleep, tucked into their own little corners of the house; i'm done with work for the day, laundry is washed and hung up and the dishes... well, the dishes can wait. beau is off rehearsing, and all i can hear is the hum of the refrigerator and the faint buzz of whatever bugs those are that sing all night. i think i'm going to sit here for a minute and enjoy the quiet, and then go read myself to sleep so i can get up and enjoy tomorrow when it gets here.

imitation of life

you haven't lived until you've seen a 6-foot-tall, bearded guy in a homer simpson t-shirt doing a perfect imitation of a cranky 10-year-old girl.

i never have the video camera when i need it.